Chocolate is my thing. In my opinion it’s actually a writer’s staple. Chocolate chips will forever be a go-to, and chocolate cupcakes? Gah. BEST. They can definitely make going raw-til-4 a pretty tricky task, unless you are fortunate enough to have stumbled upon a recipe for raw, vegan German chocolate cupcakes. Then, my gosh, you are golden.
What’s the best gift you could possibly give your mom on her special day? COOK FOR HER. And clean too, but that’s an aside. Seriously, she’ll love it. I know from experience. (Besides, she doesn’t really have any place to put that thing you’re thinking of buying and last time I checked, flowers die. Very soon after they’re gifted.) Thus, this roundup! To inspire you and make you go out there and fearlessly do something awesome for your mom. Because she deserves it, right? Even if you think not, she does. Just accept it and move on.
LIFE. It’s been crazay lately guys, I can’t even tell you. Well actually, I can tell you — technically — but do you really want to read all that? Heck nooo. You can just rest assured that I’m still alive and cooking when I have time — aka never. Ha. But not in fact. Because LOOK I FOUND TIME TO MAKE THESE OATS. Which is always a good sign. Seriously, amazingness? Right here.
SO. Last week (or maybe it was two weeks ago?) I mentioned that I had some exciting news to share with y’all. And now here I am to share it with you. Ha. The lovely folks at Go Gluten Free magazine contacted me a little while back about featuring my Super Crispy Maple Roasted Strawberry Rhubarb Sorghum and Almond Crisp in their spring issue! (I obviously said yes.) So yeah… SYDFLDKANDL. So exciting. But seriously people, Go Gluten Free is one classay magazine. Go pick up a copy of their spring issue! It’s on newsstands now and in all your foncy grocery stores like Whole Foods and even at Walmart and stuff. Which is PRETTY AWESOME. And speaking of awesome, did you see this fruit salad? No, I know — you totally missed it. So distracted with my exciting news.
If you had to eat one thing for breakfast for the rest of your life, what would it be? For me, though I love love love oats of any shape or form with ALL THE TOPPINGS, and I love sweet green smoothies because they’re the bomb, my answer would have to be… blueberry muffins. Juicy, sweet blueberries suspended in fluffy, light morsels of tender cakey clouds. All things perfect. Seriously, if I could eat blueberry muffins everyday for breakfast, I would be happy. Just bam. They’re awesome. Problem is, the only good blueberry muffin is an unhealthy one – right? NOOO! Not so. The perfect blueberry muffin should be like a cloud of light, fluffy awesomeness. And sparkling sugar on top is a must. And you shouldn’t even be able to tell the difference between the healthy one in your hand and the ones in bakery under the glass like edible diamonds. We’re so gonna rock this.
So, I’ve never been much into chocolate. I mean, don’t get me wrong/freak out — I’ve always liked chocolate a lot. Obviously. But not until recently have I been like “OMG. CHOCOLATE.” Seriously, what is that? Imbalanced hormones? Too much hemp protein? You think I’m kidding but I’m not. I need more herbal tea and BROWNIES. And seriously, if you’re anything like me (and the rest of the human race) when you want brownies, you want them like, now. Hence the reason why so many people will reach for a box of Betty Crocker and those handy ever-present unhealthy add-ins. (Except for water — that’s not unhealthy. Yet.) But pleeeease don’t. Betty Crocker is owned by Monsanto — in case you didn’t know — and you can make your own healthy brownies for far less guilt. See? Everything’s going to be okay. And we’re going to use up some of that leftover almond pulp from your last batch of homemade almond milk, so yay. Win win win. (If you’re an almond milk drinker and you don’t already make your own almond milk, YOU MUST. Okay? Just.. don’t go buy that stuff in the carton. At least not without looking at the ingredients. Can I scare you?)
Do you seriously know how long I have been procrastinating on this blog post? I mean SERIOUSLY? You would think that someone who sits at her dining room table cutting tiny diamond shapes out of strips of wax paper would have a little bit more to say than this, but… she doesn’t, to be quite honest. At least we can talk about cake. But first we’ll talk about stencils, because you’re probably feeling a little confused after that last sentence. See all the pretty stuff going on with this cake? Do they make stencils for that kind of thing? Because I made some myself. Oh well too late move on.